Personal Reflection

There's a picture of me on our fridge as a baby, on all fours, using one hand to support my tiny body, and using the other to hold onto a tattered version of the book The Poky Little Puppy's First Christmas. My parents often show that photo to their friends, in that embarrassing way that parents do, saying, “Look. She was reading before she could even walk.” My earliest memory is of sitting cross legged on the living room floor, across from my brother who was in his Jolly Jumper, trying to read the phone book to him.

So I was surprised when the prospect of having to read a classic novel was one I wasn't looking forward to; reading has never come as a chore to me or something I don't want to do. I think part of my apprehension for the project lay in the fact that I had to pick a book, that I had to read it and read it by a certain date. I think the other part was the fact that there's a stigma associated with classic novels and that we're old enough to be aware of the stigma. As a little kid, I used to wander into the basement, where my dad kept all his books, pick out a novel and settle in. I read Gone With the Wind when I was eleven and because I didn't know it was supposed to be a boring book, it wasn't.

I tried to let go of any prejudices I had towards classic novels in general, and selected Jane Eyre because it was a book I'd always been interested in. I found the character of Jane intriguing, though I knew little about her before I began reading. My favourite thing about books is finding a character that seems like a real person, that feels like a friend of mine and that is how I felt about Jane before I'd even finished the first chapter. I know I've found a truly great character when there are times during my reading that I dislike them as much as I love them. There were multiple points in my reading of Jane Eyre where Jane frustrated me, points where I didn't understand the decisions she made or why she acted the way she did. Particularly at the start of Jane and Mr. Rochester's relationship, I was frustrated with Jane and could not understand why she would begin a relationship with a man who seemed, for lack of a better description, quite robotic. But Jane had proved herself sensible and trustworthy so, as I would for any of my real friends, I trusted the decisions she made.

One thing I particularly enjoyed about Jane Eyre, though it also frustrated me, was the fact that it challenged me intellectually; it isn't one of those books you can read in an off-hand sort of way, not really concentrating. It is a book that demands your full attention, and then some. While not incredibly challenging in it's plot, the degree of language used by Charlotte Brontë is very high and quite formal. The novel also contains many pages that are simply Jane's inner thoughts, and although her thoughts are fascinating if you force yourself to read them, it's easy to get lost and simply start skimming through, searching for some form of action or genuine dialogue. There were multiple points when I had to go back five or ten pages because I found myself reading but not retaining anything; once I trained myself to pay attention to the book, I found that I actually really enjoyed what I was reading. It was a pleasant surprise to sit back and find myself genuinely engaged in the story of Jane, picking up the book because I wanted to and not because I had to.

I also found it interesting to independently study a novel on such a thorough scale. A lot of the time when I finish a book, I take a few minutes to digest what I've read and go over the story in my mind, before I begin my next literary adventure. This time, I couldn't just put down Jane Eyre and be done with it, nor could I read the novel in an un-objective way. In order to determine whether or not it was a classic, I had to study what I believe to be the most important aspects of a classic novel: character, theme and style.

The studying of these three elements in literature also allowed me to answer a question we'd talked about in class a little while ago; the argument was raised over whether or not you could intuitively tell good writing from bad. Some said that this knowledge must be accumulated by reading a broad range of literature, while others said it's possible to just know that something is good. I believe that both theories are correct, though I'm more in favour of the former. Of course, if something is terribly written, you can tell. That part is easy. The more difficult part lies in separating good writing from great writing. This is where a previous background on literature can come in handy; I know it helped me greatly in my reading of Jane Eyre. I was able to recognize how incredibly gifted Charlotte Brontë was as a writer and what a wonderful story she'd created.

I know you told us not to gush over how much we loved the Classic Novel Study if we didn't, and I'm not going to gush because it wasn't a project I loved; but then again, has any student anywhere ever been assigned a project they genuinely adored? I think the more important thing is what you take away from the project, what it teaches you, and what you teach yourself. The greatest lesson I learned is not to always rush through everything I do, particularly while reading. Once I slowed down and actually took the time to look at what I was reading on a deeper level, I found I could connect to the text in a more meaningful way and better understand what it was I was reading. This is certainly something that, had I read Jane Eyre on my own time, wouldn't have happened, making my reading experience much more superficial. So I guess in a roundabout way, I will say thanks to you, Mrs McConkey, because even though I spent many nights slumped over my keyboard, miserable at the prospect of having to write the name Jane Eyre one more time, the studying of my classic novel was actually something I really enjoyed and a project that has given me great insight into the way I work, both as a reader and a writer.